Adult friend making is just hard, isn’t it? I don’t know how to skirt around the subject, because for me it has just been one awkward hurdle after another. It usually starts when I am caught off guard and then the words just come spilling out into a phenomenon that I like to call: Jar Jar Binks.
Basically Jar Jar emerges when you feel like this:
But in reality you are teetering on this fine line between Mona Lisa and Jar Jar.
(Thank you Buzzfeed for this fine imagery)
Poor Jar Jar. This dejected character from the Star Wars reboot straddles the fence of being irrefutably annoying and adorable—am I right? He’s talkative, funny at times, but you can’t shake the feeling that he is often just too much. I think that is what happens to me as well. Jar Jar shows up when I start to feel insecure and then my thoughts begin to race:
Am I saying too much? Maybe too little? Did I talk about myself too much? Did I talk about anything other than my kids? Does it sound like I get out of the house?
The struggle is real. Especially when your daily conversations circle around questions like:
“Can we have a baby rhino?”
“Why does poop smell?”
“Do you want to go to Fred Meyer and see the lobsters?”
I don’t have any good answers for how to cope with the crazy ‘Jar Jar’ moments, except to embrace it. We all have our own quirks and motherhood is frankly so draining that at the end of the day, you’re lucky if you can figure out how to start your electric toothbrush.
Just take it one day at a time and if you can hold enough grace for yourself and others, you might be surprised to find that once you get past the ‘Jar Jar’ phenomenon, people have stories to tell. Our hearts hold so much, and we need each other. I’ve never been good at making friends with girlies. I grew up with an older brother and pretty much tried to inherit his friends because most the girls I knew were mean and trendy, and I didn’t know how to function in that world. Through time though, I have built a circle of women. I acquired these treasured friends through the most random encounters you can imagine, but at the end of the day, the women in my circle have seen me at my best and my worst and I can say without a doubt that they love me, ‘Jar Jar’ and all. It might take sweat and tears, but throwing yourself out there in the friendship ring is worth it. So the next time you feel yourself sinking into one of those delirious moments where your inner awkwardness feels like it is taking over, take a deep breath and remember the story inside of you—the hope, the glory, the beauty.