You guys, I started therapy today. I say that not to pat myself on the back, but to say that I see the light of healing at the end of a long dark tunnel. I have PTSD. The. Struggle. Is.Real.
For some reason I am not embarrassed anymore.
Women talk so often about how it takes 9 months to be pregnant, so we should wait at least that long for our bodies to bounce back. Here is the thing—I’ve never been pregnant for 9 months. I faced down death. I closed my eyes so many times not knowing the outcome of my own health or my babies, and now 9 months later, I have lost the baby weight but my heart is heavy laden with all the things I left untouched.
It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are. I have a physiologist, counselor, pastor, educator, and social worker in my immediate family—but you have to find your own person. It is vital. This is my shout out to people on the fence. Don’t wait until you are breaking. Find someone now. I am so glad that I am on the road to wellness. I have hope. I have courage and ultimately I am so excited to be a better wife, mom, friend, etc. Sometimes we need space from the people who are so close to us, so we can focus and heal before we have to think about anything else. It might feel selfish at first, but ultimately it’s a step toward freedom.
Be brave friends. Life is hard, but we can do hard things.
If you need encouragement, I am here. Leave a comment and I promise I will contact you personally. You will make it through your dark season. Much love, keep going!
PS: to those who have been gentle with me, I count you as gold. I’ll never forget the grace you have extended me. I love you more than words could ever say.