OnlyTrueNorthAsha, Family Life, Featured, Friendship, NICU, Preemie parenting7 Comments

You guys, I started therapy today. I say that not to pat myself on the back, but to say that I see the light of healing at the end of a long dark tunnel. I have PTSD. The. Struggle. Is.Real.

For some reason I am not embarrassed anymore.

Women talk so often about how it takes 9 months to be pregnant, so we should wait at least that long for our bodies to bounce back. Here is the thing—I’ve never been pregnant for 9 months. I faced down death. I closed my eyes so many times not knowing the outcome of my own health or my babies, and now 9 months later, I have lost the baby weight but my heart is heavy laden with all the things I left untouched.

It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are. I have a physiologist, counselor, pastor, educator, and social worker in my immediate family—but you have to find your own person. It is vital. This is my shout out to people on the fence. Don’t wait until you are breaking. Find someone now. I am so glad that I am on the road to wellness. I have hope. I have courage and ultimately I am so excited to be a better wife, mom, friend, etc. Sometimes we need space from the people who are so close to us, so we can focus and heal before we have to think about anything else. It might feel selfish at first, but ultimately it’s a step toward freedom.

Be brave friends. Life is hard, but we can do hard things.

If you need encouragement, I am here. Leave a comment and I promise I will contact you personally. You will make it through your dark season. Much love, keep going!

PS: to those who have been gentle with me, I count you as gold. I’ll never forget the grace you have extended me. I love you more than words could ever say.


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7 Comments on “PTSD”

  1. Mary Needham

    Dear Asha,

    I just want you to know that I think you are a very special person. You have been through a lot and God won’t waste any of what you have been through. He works it all out for your good.

    It is so refreshing to see your openness and I’m sure this is part of the healing that you’ll get from this. Also it’ll help others I’m sure.

    You are doing such a great job, just being you.

    Much love and big hugs,

  2. Anne Brakun

    I love you so much Ashie and have obviously been very busy with my own life and not knowing what is truly going on with you. Your bright smile and easy laughter covers a lot. I used to be the master of this too until I got my own therapy a few years back. It saved me, got me a career, two beautiful children and strengthened my marriage. You are going to go through some discomfort for now but will be feeling strong, less stressed and calmer soon. Xoxo

  3. Shannon "Sam" Mather

    Precious One-You are “PURE GOLD”, standing strong & brave for your babies…Always praising & worshiping & thanking God for their amazing lives…I do that today for you, my daughter-God bless you-Momma

  4. Roaemarie

    You are brave. I often take comfort in the words of Jesus when life overwhelms me. He advised us to live in the day and not worry about tomorrow … because each day has enough worries of its own. Getting help is a way of laying those concerns and broken pieces at the foot of the cross.

    As you move toward healing, we’re cheering you on, praying with you, and in awe of the lovely woman you already are. Love to you, my friend. You know you and Stu and little tribe are in my prayers.

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