Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Galatians 6:4-5 The Message
Sometimes I am rather impressed with myself, if I’m quite honest. Not in the obvious sense, but just about the time I start feeling the least bit ‘cool’ a fresh dose of reality hits. Things like, discovering that my shirt has been on inside out for a greater portion of the day, or realizing that all of the dishes I promptly unloaded were in fact rinsed not clean. On another exceptionally ‘cool’ day, I noticed an entire black bean skin was covering my front tooth—all day.
Then there are harder days. The days that aren’t Facebook worthy. The days where I feel like a cracked pot leaking out the sides, about to fall to bits. On these days, I am anything but impressed with myself. Usually, days like this start with too many questions. Did I get enough done today? Did I maximize my time? Did I finish what I started? Did I parent with love? Did I return that phone call? Am I even organized at all? Am I a good Mom? When was my last shower?
One thing I love most about toddlers, is that they haven’t learned our way of assigning value to things. They take you on your cool days and your broken days. Alana and I were running some errands yesterday when we pulled into a parking spot next to this crazy looking lady. She was sporting this clown-meets-Shakespeare-in-the-park look. I had my own thoughts, but before I could even process, Alana exclaimed, “Mother Bear, She is sooooooooo beautiful!”
God’s love rushes out like that. It doesn’t even make sense to us half the time. We are so used to assigning value to everything, we rarely go off our gut feeling, but toddlers—they don’t care. If they see something beautiful, we hear about it! That’s why I have a house full of acorns, dried dandelions, leaves, and rocks, because to Alana these are all special treasures.
Where do you place value? When you crawl into bed at night, what list starts ticking off in your head? I’m here to tell you, that living by the list will ruin you. The list won’t bring peace. The list won’t bring rest. That’s why I run to Jesus, because I need peace and I need rest. I have a weary soul and I need someone who has overcome the world.
So when you tuck yourself into bed tonight, tuck your heart in too. Just rest and leave the list undone, it’s okay. Tomorrow is full of endless possibilities and who knows, maybe you’ll even be ‘cool’.