I, by nature, am a “lover,” not a fighter. Conflict is not my MO, and I would rather take a backseat so that peace can reign. Normally, this works out just fine.
Playdates go off without a hitch, even amid somewhat different parenting philosophies.
I am able to overlook little annoyances in favor of maintaining the “greater good.”
I am able to trust the service providers that we have enlisted to be be on our children’s health and wellness “team.”
But what about the times we as moms are called to fight? I think there are times when we NEED to rock the boat…to be the squeaky wheel because at that moment, no one else is going to do battle for our children BUT US.
Bullies. (Read this heartfelt article: Please Come Home)
Character lapses (little ones that have figured out how to lie, anyone?)
I think we can all agree that there are times where we have to roll up our sleeves and go to work on behalf of our children, whether it is through prayer, endless conversations with the child in question, or even direct involvement with a teacher or social worker to help get your kids the help and attention that they need to be successful and safe.
But what happens when fighting becomes a gray area? What happens when you are stuck between the feeling that something is not right for/with your child but someone you trust their care to feels things are fine? At what point do we as moms accept their wisdom and go with their recommendations for our children’s care or decide it is time to dig in our heels and go to battle for them DESPITE what said trusted advisor is telling us?
I have been struggling with this lately. My oldest girlie is struggling with some not-so-minor health issues and we have had to really put our faith in a slew of medical, vision, and dental pros to help guide us through so many things that we know nothing about. Like zilch.
We have had to trust the x-ray techs and a team of surgeons and neurologists that are telling us that the growth deep in her brain is (currently) not causing her any issues.
We have had to trust the allergist enlisted to help us navigate the myriad food-related health issues she faces.
We have had to trust the dentist and orthodontist helping walk us through countless problems and dental woes.
We have had to place extreme trust in the pediatrician we have chosen to be there through it all -and not just with her, but with our other 2 daughters as well.
Recently we have been butting heads ( a nice way of saying totally disagreeing) with our pediatrician because he and the staff at his office do not provide sinus infection medication for children with cold symptoms until they have had symptoms for at least 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS, people. That is FOURTEEN DAYS of being in the trenches with a sick kiddo…and you all know how testy that can make you. And the sick kid. Never mind the fact that our daughter routinely gets sinus infections and is currently at 7 straight days of miserable symptoms.
At what point do I, and do we as moms, say FORGET THIS and start making a holy racket on our kids’ behalf? This is a line that I struggle so much with crossing, but it is one I have also never regretted stepping over once it is all said and done. I know that will hold true this time as well, since I plan to keep calling their office until they agree to get my little girl the meds she needs to HEAL.
With that said, we are fortunate to have a doctor that has supported us through alternative medical efforts and countless other decisions that I know were not necessarily in his recommended “wheelhouse.” But even the best of relationships will sometimes find themselves in disagreement territory, and when that happens, it is our responsibility to make our voices heard.
We are called to fight.
It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He causes me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me.